December 2006
“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news…” (Luke 2:10)
We all know the scene well: the Christmas shepherds in the field are surrounded by a host of angels, the glory of the Lord shines around them, and their initial response is fear. Actually, my translation says they were terrified. An angel reassures them with the words, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news…”
On November 3-5, I spent three days in solitude and spent time thinking specifically about fear. What are my fears? What does Scripture say about fear? How do I react when I am afraid? What is the appropriate response to emotions of fear?
I discovered that three days was not enough time to adequately meditate on such a vast topic, especially since there are many different types of fear: fear of the Lord, fear of man, fear of danger, fear of enemies, fear of evil. The list is long.
In the case of the shepherds, their fear was a natural response to a sudden encounter with celestial beings. But not all fear is good fear.
I realized during my weekend of solitude that one of my greatest fears is of being all alone. Somehow, this thought of being cut off from people I love, like being in prison, terrifies me. Is this a universal fear, or am I the only one?
When I first began to think about the fear of being all alone, God brought to mind all the people who hold me close to their hearts in prayer. I was overwhelmed by the simple thought that I am carried and lifted up by so many who pray faithfully for me. God's promise that I am not alone is fulfilled through the thoughts and prayers of people like you that He's put in my life. It's a great blessing, more than I can fathom.
Concerning my fear of abandonment, God also spoke to me of His mother's heart through Mrs. Stefan, who hosted me at her country home for my weekend of solitude. On the first morning, I was a little grumpy because there was no way to heat up water for my coffee – the gas tank hooked to the stove was all out of gas, and Mrs. Stefan didn't have enough money to refill it. Just as I was contemplating dumping a packet of instant coffee into some ice cold well-water and shaking it around to make ice coffee on a bitter cold November morning, Mrs. Stefan knocks on my door,
“Rachel! Am I bothering you? Hey, I just bought some milk from my neighbor who has a cow, and she heated it up on her stove. So, if you want some it's in the kitchen.”
This was like music to my ears! Not only did I get hot coffee, I got hot creamy coffee! Thick milk straight from the source!
Long story short, somehow this small gesture of kindness from Mrs. Stefan overwhelmed me. And God began to speak:
“I will care for you. I know you. I know your needs. I will never leave you or forget you. I will care for you like a mother…”
From Isaiah 41 and 49 I was reassured by the words:
“So do not fear for I am you God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
“For I am the Lord your God,
Who takes hold of your right hand
And says to you, 'Do not fear;
I will help you.
Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob,
O little Israel,
For I myself will help you.”
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
And have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
Your walls are ever before me.”
Throughout Scripture, I repeatedly encounter the words, “Do not fear, trust in the Lord, take heart, be courageous, fear not, have faith, hope in God, do not doubt, stand firm.”
I have never encountered (like the Christmas shepherds) an angel of the Lord with a host of angels as a back-up choir. I'm sure that would be an appropriate moment for a bit of holy fear. But more often I am bogged down by fear and cowardice in reaction to daily circumstances of life.
I consider myself too small or weak to speak up and let my voice be heard. I walk away from confrontation afraid of getting hurt. I doubt that my words or prayers or actions will really make a difference. I let my insecurities dictate my actions, rather than faith and confidence in my identity as a beloved child of God.
There are many examples of how unhealthy fear can begin to control our lives. But my prayer is that God will continue to teach me to trust him in everything and walk with confidence into unknown places, certain that He is Emmanuel, God with us. Thank you for praying with and for me.
Peace,
Rachel
The following is from a book called, The Violence of Love, by a Catholic bishop who was martyred for his faith.
“To each one of us Christ is saying:
If you want your life and mission to be
fruitful like mine, do as I.
Be converted into a seed that lets itself be buried.
Let yourself be killed.
Do not be afraid.
Those who shun suffering will remain alone.
No one is more alone than the selfish.
But if you give your life out of love for others,
as I give mine for all,
you will reap a great harvest.
You will have the deepest satisfactions.
Do not fear death or threats;
The Lord goes with you.
Oscar Romero, El Salvador
April 1979
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