Help, God!
I don't know how to pick up all these pieces. My arms aren't wide enough, or strong enough. Probably because I haven't been able to go rock climbing recently. So much happening. So much crashing around us.
Like little 6-month old Luke Baker being flown back to Boston Medical because of scary seizures that stop his heart, stop his breathing. Yeah, it was reassuring to finally have a tentative diagnosis, especially of the benign epilepsy that he'll probably grow out of. But to not have Bakers on the field for the next 8 months? It's such a shock, God. I miss them already. And will the ministry suffer because of it? Can we lose the founding directors, even for a few months, and still grow in the ministry?
—Cara, in all things I work for the…
And then the Casa de Esperanza! God, what are we supposed to do about that! It's in the perfect location, right next to the red light district. And so many girls have been coming to lunch lately, asking our help to get out of prostitution. Why is the landlord trying to kick us out now? What are we supposed to do with the ninety days she's given us? If we decide to try to buy it, how can we raise $140,000 in 3 months? None of us are fundraisers. What if we lose the Casa de Esperanza?
—Cara, my grace is suff…
I'm just so tired! We try to lift someone up, try to help a girl, and nothing seems to turn out right! Like Eli, the poor woman. Everything seemed perfect. It seemed providential for that woman promised her a job in a gift shop, with a salary that would feed her four kids. It seemed it was from you, God. But to have that woman sell the store right out from under her, leaving Eli jobless and helpless again… Why would you do that, God? She worked so hard to get out of prostitution. Will she have to go right back in to feed her kids?
—In everything, Cara, I work for…
And all of life's little tragedies. Like my landlord's kitten, who used to curl up on my lap while I read, eaten by the neighbor's dog. Come on, Lord. That's just cruel.
Or my first Servant Team, leaving on Friday. I'm going to miss them so much.
Or pushing language school back yet again. Fluency is as far off as it ever was.
Or spending my first Christmas without my family. How am I going to get through the day celebrating Your Son's birth when I'm missing my parents, and Mark and David?
Where's the rest, Lord? Where's the respite?
—Cara?
…
–Cara?
(sigh) Yeah?
—My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness. In everything, I'm always acting for your good, and for the good of all who love me.
Okay.
…I know that Lord…but…it's hard to act on it sometimes. But, okay. I'll try to find that place of rest in you. I will.
–And Cara.
…Yeah?
–I love you.
Cara Strauss
Casilla 25022
El Alto, Bolivia
<carastrauss@yahoo.com>