Dear Friends and Family,
I have been so thankful for the new e-mails and letters I've received since my last prayer letter. I've gotten in touch with some long-lost friends and loved reconnecting.
In this letter, I wanted to write a little bit about simplicity. I have felt an increased desire to live simply, but am unsure of my motivations. I want to live more ascetically, but don't know if I'm doing this out of love or guilt. Or both. And maybe my motivation doesn't even matter.
My desire to live simply comes from three thoughts: 1) Jesus seems stern when he talks about the evils of money, 2) I know that my overconsumption causes others to do without. (In the various questionnaires on the web, when I plug in my living habits, the results show that I would need over five earths to sustain my level of consumption), and 3) I know that I get distracted and am less at peace with myself when I self-medicate through shopping, t.v., etc.
It's interesting the way that our spending says a lot about our values on earth. My friends Christian and Sonya Gray will not spend a lot of money on food, because these things are consumed (in other words they don't last). In contrast, I don't spend a lot of money on durable goods (I hate to move and the thought of lugging things around drives me to keep my spending down). I remember Christian saying that if breakfast costs more than $3, it automatically tastes worse. Sometimes we go to the burrito truck near our respective work, and grab a $3 asada or al pastor burrito for lunch. We bring our own drinks. But when I'm not with him, I'll spend money around the table; for me this represents fellowship.
But it also represents the difference in how we spend our money. I recently read Money magazine where the author differentiates whether spending is on pleasure (meals, entertainment, etc.) or on comfort (good furniture, good clothes, etc.). I have a tendency to think of myself as living rather simply, but that is because I forgo spending on comforts, not because I forgo spending on pleasure.
I talked with another friend who recently who went to a conference about simplicity. And he said that in some ways he was disappointed, because the subject was so internalized that no demands were made on any of the participant's consumption. It was entirely spoken of, in terms of the attitude of the heart. I know that the attitude of the heart is important, but I could relate to the frustration.
In Word Made Flesh, when we talk about the incredibly "stern" things Jesus says about the influence of money, we usually get a lot of push-back. We are told that Jesus was speaking about putting things ahead of Jesus, about misplaced priorities, about idolatry. Sometimes I think this is a great defense mechanism, to put something into the realm of the world of the heart and mind. It allows for a potential distance between how we think about something and how we act on that same thing.
So if I change my consumption and I give to the poor, what difference does my motivation make? The effect can be the same. And yet we know that Scripture also says that:
1 Cor. 13: If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
So I gain nothing if I don't have love. Do the poor gain? Is that enough? I don't think its enough because the spirit of the gift has to communicate its sacrifice, its intent, its hope for the person. The recipient of the gift is also a gift-giver. They receive materially, but also give relationally. This represents the love presents in a mutual relationship.
This letter flows out of the questions I'm having. Like many of my prayer letters, it starts out with a lot of confusion, questions, doubts, and then some resolve at the end. But I'm not fully resolved…I never am. J I do know that it is good to think and stretch and grow.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Brent
P.S. Please continue to support me in WMF. Last month, many more people sent in new gifts. Thank you, thank you, thank you.