“I lift up my eyes to the hills — where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
– Psalm 121
Dear family and friends,
I send my warmest greetings with this letter. Here at Gordon College, my studies have at last come to an end and I am making final preparations for my departure to Romania on July 2. One last month with my family in New Hampshire and then I will move back in with my host family in Galati. Initially I will continue language study and begin learning how to lead Servant Teams. I am eager to invest in the lives of those who come to Romania for four months just as I did two years ago, knowing how much the Servant Team experience shaped me.
I am equally excited about living with the Ivans again, my host family of twelve. I have much to learn from them and much to share. Pray for relationships to grow as we live together in our five room apartment. I desire to see them come to know and love Jesus Christ in response to His love for them. They have many needs, but none so great as their need for Jesus.
The following selection is an excerpt from my journal, written out of my struggle to understand my relationship with the Ivans and what it means to continue embracing this dear family.
Please continue to pray as God would lead you.
With love,
Rachel
Crown of Glory
I run to the forest, my sanctuary and my retreat from the heavy responsibilities that lay piled on my desk. I run to be free from worry and free from restraint. With only the trees and birds to see me I am free to discover what really dwells deep in my heart.
So I run and grit my teeth, angry. I push harder, faster with labored breath. But exhaustion soon comes, the anger turns to tears, and I slow my pace. Why do I hurt so much? Not my body, my soul. It aches. Why this burden of grief and sorrow? It hurts so much to love and share the pain of those loved.
Jogging over course gravel, the words of a familiar song echo in my head: And when we pass through stony ground, we'll gladly walk upon our knees.” Gladly? Are you kidding? Dropping to my knees, I try it out, but the stones dig into my knees making the progress slow and painful. Hard and fast now, I'm running again, glad to be away from the rocky path and hoping that joy will come now that I've passed the stony ground. Snaking, narrow trails lead me around trees and over fallen branches. Tangled tree roots are worn bare by walkers, runners and bikers that have covered this trail before me.
Suddenly, a root snags my fast moving feet and I plunge straight into a patch of thorns lining the path. Stunned, I stare back at the ugly root, eyeing the torn up dirt where my foot caught in the trap.
Tiny sharp thorns beneath my arms and legs begin to anger me. Why thorns? Falling into mud would have been bad enough, but thorns? They hurt! Fingering a tender green shoot, I gingerly break it away from the other branches, twisting it into a circle, a crown. Jesus wore a crown of thorns; maybe I should give it a try.
Walking now, I continue to finger the thorns in my hand. What kind of king was Jesus anyway? He promised that his followers would receive a crown of glory if they run the race and do not give up. Is this my crown of glory? Will I where a crown of thorns? I always pictured a golden, jeweled crown, symbolizing royalty and luxury. Thorny crowns speak of suffering, pain, blood and death.
In John 12, Jesus said, “The hour has come for the son of man to be glorified… And when I am lifted up from the earth I will draw all men to myself.” He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die.
Jesus' glory was in his death. When his hour had come, he showed us the full extent of his love. He wore his crown and bore his cross, naked, bruised and beaten, to show us the way of glory.
And before he died, Jesus washed his disciples' feet, sinking to the floor and soiling his hands from the dust of the road and the grime of weary feet. He showed us a life of glory, a life of service and love for others. And when he was done, he stood up and said, “You call me Teacher and Lord, and rightly so for this is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:14-15)
Do as Jesus has done for you. This crown of thorns? This cross that weighs you down? Take it, bear it, and Jesus will bear it with you. Jesus set us an example that we are called to follow. There is no greater love than this: that Jesus Christ lay down his life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for others (1 John 3:16).
The circle of thorns pressed into my hand draws me closer to the heart of Jesus. It is not only a crown of scorn, shame and suffering, but also a beautiful, glorious crown because it is the crown that Jesus chose to wear. Discovering the beautiful love that dwells within the crown of thorns speaks peace to my troubled heart. And I am thankful that He has revealed these things to little children like me, as I scrape my knees and stumble into the thorns that line my path.
Rachel Simons ~ PO Box 152 ~ Wolfeboro, NH 03894 ~ rachel.simons@wordmadeflesh.com