I am a proud dad! I have 5 children that range in age from 26 to 8, and it brings my heart tremendous joy to watch each of them grow and mature. Of course, it’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination to be a parent. But at every stage of their growth, with each challenge comes great joy. There seems to be this unspoken but generally accepted expectation that a dad with a son that walks in his footsteps is a sign of God in his life and a special blessing. I am not here to argue that point, but what if the person most like you isn’t your son but your daughter?
My oldest child Jessica Joyce Barber, a beautiful woman, was our first born and after spending very little time with her you will realize she is indeed her father’s daughter. Of all my children, she was given the honor of having more of her dad – something I apologize for over and over, for sure. When Donna and I began hanging out with homeless folks in Philly, Jess was just 2 years old. She would walk right up to anyone on the streets, give them some food, and talk with them. She was 2 and having conversations with homeless folks on the streets. Jessica is a tremendous athlete, extreme extrovert, and super pastoral in her love for people. This was evidenced as she grew up bringing people home or lobbying for people constantly. She is a free spirited dreamer with a deep love for people. She is my daughter through and through. While my sons are incredible and I am extremely proud of them as well, they will tell you along with Donna that Jess is my child for sure. It was evident from the time she was a baby.
What do you do as a dad when your daughter is the one with more of you, or if you have all daughters? I have come to learn that you inspire, teach, love, train them just as you would your boys. You give them your blessing to lead and you make room for their gifts and talents. In my case, you argue with other dads that she can play tackle football if she wants. Jess began routinely beating the boys at basketball around age 6.
I have enjoyed raising my daughter just as God made her with all her dad’s ways and leadership gifts. She was born to lead, and my prayer is that she leads well and gets a double portion of what I have been given so that her contribution to the Kingdom is great. God gave her to me on purpose to raise as a leader and it is my responsibility to raise a daughter that is secure in who she is as a person, not as a second class person but as a respected leader.
To my daughter and any young lady that has their dad’s ways and they happen to be aggressive, leadership oriented, athletic, outspoken, and pastoral: you go, girl! Don’t let anyone hinder the gift of God that resides in you. That was given you by God to be used in the world for His purposes.
Leroy Barber, Jessica’s dad