Humility surprises me. All these years I understood humility as something I needed to “attain” if I wanted to be obedient to scripture. Now I have begun to see humility as a gift of God’s grace. God’s been breaking and softening my heart over the last two years, opening my eyes to my own pride. Certainly humility is a choice as well. Christ chose to step into humanity and to be obedient. I have a choice to love those with whom I am in community—children as well as coworkers.
I used to assume that learning to be humble was just a single step in the journey of a walk with Christ. Yet, God is showing me that humility is, in itself, a full journey and a slow transformation. Humility is not simply an attribute I can pick up through memorizing Bible verses or sitting in a church pew for years. It takes much more than that, because humility shows me much of my pride. I am learning that I cannot understand humility apart from God’s grace. It is only the grace of God that helps us step into humility.
One area where I have seen my pride is in my resistance to asking for help. I started a new job, moved to a new country, and began to learn a new language and culture. Asking for help became imperative for me. In reality, I am dependent on others for a salary as well as learning how to operate here. And I struggle with it. Humility looks like me letting go of my pride— my desire to do everything on my own—and accepting help. More than that, learning to ask for help. How is it that I feel I’m learning this all over again? How is it that I am learning humility not from what I can do, but from what I can’t do?
God is teaching me humility by teaching me to receive. I’m learning how to be honest and let others see my brokenness. I’m learning how to be vulnerable. To ask for help and admit my needs, and then be willing to receive from others. This requires a deeply humbling vulnerability. In a sense, is this not the humility of Christ? Jesus made himself vulnerable as he stepped into flesh and blood in the timeline of human history. He was born as an infant and was dependent on others for every human need. He received a blessing from a desperate woman washing his feet. He asked for a drink from someone not considered clean enough to give a Jewish man some water.
The kids at the state-run boarding school teach me about being interdependent, about taking care of each other. Andrew* is a second grade boy. He has two brothers and has witnessed a lot of trauma in his short life. We have been working with him to read and write in the after school program. He is one of the most active students, as well as one of the most generous.
Most of the children at this boarding school have a parent or relative to go home to on the weekends, but Andrew and his brothers have no one. Yet, even though he has nothing, he is willing to share everything with us. He found a leu (Moldovan currency) on the ground and freely gave it to my colleague. He received some candy for his birthday and made sure that another colleague, who had a birthday on the same day, got a large portion of the chocolate. This young boy eagerly shares what little he has. His generosity teaches me humility.
Anna* is nine. She and I sat at a table in the art room with a book about the alphabet spread out in front of us. We were working on her letters when she needed a break. She stood up and began to show off a red fabric Easter egg that she completed in sewing group. Then, beaming proudly, Anna came and handed me her precious gift. “For you,” she said, swinging her legs and only casting sideways glances at me with her wide and beautiful eyes.
There is something profound about receiving a gift from one of these little, vulnerable children that is an extension of the grace of God. Jesus says, “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is known to be my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly be rewarded” (Matthew 10:42 TNIV).
Jesus also says, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40 TNIV).
I think when we open our hearts and humble ourselves to receive gifts from these children, whether it simply be their trust or a colored picture, we are being humbled and softened to receive from Christ. Christ did just that for us 2000 years ago as he offered himself to humanity as an infant.
In what areas or moments of life do you see Christ simply offering himself to you now? Where do we need to be humbled to receive the grace of God?
*Names of children have been changed.